My life purpose

2018-11-05

I was going to use this blog post to be a little personal. Not because I usually am a person who distances me from my audience, but maybe now it’s time to write about something else than just football / soccer.

This time, I will write about life.

As some of you know, my past year has been a little of a life crisis. I have gone through a divorce, sold a house, moved with my son, who is two and a half years old, to a whole new city where I do not know anyone. In addition, I have not had a lot of time to do what I love the most – Football.

In the meantime, I have often asked myself – Who am I? What is the meaning of everything? Why did I even go out of bed this morning?

Luckily enough, I honestly feel great now, which is also why I can write these things in a public blog. I feel better than I have had for a very long time. I have moved to a lovely apartment in an area I like. I enjoy my new job, both with the duties and my colleagues (a nice company with good values and an awesome boss does not make things worse). My son has started his new preschool and me and the boy’s mother have a fine relationship where we have a good dialogue. We are still friends and have some good memories together which I always will cherish, and she is of course a great mother for our son. I think we both feel much better now than we did before everything happened, which for me is a sign that this was the right way to go for both of us.

Nevertheless, that existential thought has plagued me during the year. Without my football, which for so long defined who I am and what I want to do, the meaning of life has been questioned in many ways. I have tried to find my purpose in many other things. Like my job, my family, my friends, women, training and so on. I will not say that I was into depression because people tend to use that word to often in situations where it is not applicable, but I have had my fair share of sleepless nights. 

Something has been missing.

At the end of the summer, I met a friend who was worried for me, even though everything went well for me at that point. I replied that I missed football, it felt like some of my DNA was gone. He finally asked me why it was so important for me with football. I replied that I miss the match pulse, the adrenaline that goes out in the veins when it becomes a penalty kick, the audience’s cheers … And there he stopped me.

“I asked you WHY you miss football, not WHAT you miss,” he said.
“Why do you miss football so much, Johan?”

I was thinking for a while, I understood that I could not only answer something cliché here. Still, I was surprised by the words that came out. It felt like I was talking in tongues.

“Because I want to make people dream and make them dream big”

My friend broke up in a smile before clapping me on my shoulder. “There you have your life’s purpose, that’s why you’re here, you’re going to make people dream. That’s why you want to come back. That’s why you’re coming back”

I should not say that it was a religious experience, but somewhere here I began to understand what the meaning of my life was. It’s so easy to talk about three points, winning games, getting the honor, but all that really does not matter. For me, sports in general and football in particular have always been about dreaming. It is an arena where David can beat Goliath. Where the impossible can be possible.

We who works with football do not do this because we are realists. Then there would have been thousands of other jobs we could have chosen from. We do this because we are dreamers and because we dream of doing big things. For my part, it’s about getting people to believe in things that are bigger than themselves. To make people leave their boring everyday lives and be part of a broader context. Perhaps their local football team is the only thing they have in life. Perhaps it’s about getting people to gather around something. To see people do things together, even though they have different backgrounds. Perhaps it’s about getting a group of people to play together to accomplish great things as a solid unit.

I, as a football coach, has a big responsibility. I want to make people dream and dream big. I want to show them that everything is possible, that in spite of untrue conditions, faith can move mountains. I want to inspire them to great things.

It’s also a homework I want to teach my son. No one shall tell him what he can or can not do. He will have a dream, just like all other children will. I want him to chase his dreams. Just what I think we all people should do. We have too much realism and too little dreams in this world. Without dreams and visions, the world is going nowhere. That is not a place I want to live in. We need more dreamers, not less of them.

Håkan Hellström, a famous Swedish artist, sang once “sometimes, a dream is the finest thing you have” . He could not have more right, dear Håkan. Hopefully, this blog can make some of you to dream. Because dreaming is the most beautiful thing you can do. That is what makes us humans.

So I apologize if I do not update this blog as often as I would have to do. It’s just that I’m busy making people dream and make them dream big.

That’s my life purpose.

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